Foster Parents of Children with Disabilities: “They Have no Fears of Contacts and Know What to Expect”

They give security, warmth and love. Foster parents for children with disabilities are barely different from biological parents. But how do the families get together? An allocation agency in Germany helps to give the chronically ill and disabled children in loving hands.

01/11/2011

Annette Eichhorn; © Diakonie
Düsseldorf

Annette Eichhorn works at the Central specialist service for foster children with chronic illnesses and disabilities of diakonia Dusseldorf. REHACARE.de talked to her about long-term support, building networks and family warmth.

REHACARE.de: Having chronically ill or disabled children as a foster child, means a great energy-related stress. Mrs. Eichhorn, for which reasons do many people still apply to you as a foster family?

Annette Eichhorn: First, I can probably clean up with a fairly widespread cliché: It's not the childless couple who applies to us. It is more like this: The foster parents often already had contact with disabled or chronically ill children, whether professionally or in the family circle. So they have no fear and know what to expect - in every way. The biological children of foster parents are mostly grown and out of the house. For many families this decision primarily means endowment with meaning.

REHACARE.de: Which demands does a potential foster family have to fulfil?

Eichhorn: Basically all possible family life forms are conceivable. It is important to us that there are not more than two handicapped foster children in a family, because the care takes up a lot of time. Moreover, the money which the families get should not be important for the existence of the family. There has to be a secure income. The family also has to have sufficient educational and social competence. Optimally, good social networks exist. The basic condition is to give a dependable connection and emotional warmth to the child.

Potential foster parents have to fulfil various requirements and they have to convince the employees of the allocation agency in a personal interview; © Erwin Wodicka/panthermedia.net

REHACARE.de: Should the families also have medical and nursing knowledge?

Eichhorn: This always depends on the impediment. At the moment I have a five-year-old boy who is on permanent ventilation. If everything works out, he will soon come to a family which lives in the country. The mother is a child nurse and has thus the necessary medical knowledge to look after the boy optimally. She also knows, for example, how she has to behave in a possible emergency. If, however, a child is possibly partially deaf, the family does not necessarily have medical knowledge. However, instead, they should be able and willing to learn the sign language.

REHACARE.de: Potential foster families have to undergo a standardised applicant's procedure with you. How exactly does this look like?

Eichhorn: Interested families must visit several seminars with us, write a detailed biography and fill out several forms. Then after additional personal conversations we provide a profile of the family. The decision on the suitability of a family is made in the team of our qualified employees.

When the child can come with the
new family, a new life begins;
© Wavebreakmedia ltd/
panthermedia.net

REHACARE.de: And how does the family get the foster child afterwards?

Eichhorn: If we receive a request from the child protective services for the allocation of a child, we examine the requirements that are important for this child. It may be that there shall be no pets in the family or that there is a very high care need. When we have found a suitable family, we present it to the child protective services. If they also say OK, we ensure that the family and the child get to know each other.

REHACARE.de: How long does it last until the children can live in their new family?

Eichhorn: It often happens that children directly come from a hospital or foster home. In such cases, we are committed to ensure that the child may change as soon as possible in the family environment. If a child is placed in a foster family for transition, we pay attention to an intensive initiation with the new family. After all, there are already relationships, from which one cannot just rip out the child overnight.

REHACARE.de: By now, 173 children with various diseases and disabilities have found a foster family. Do you support the family also after the allocation?

Eichhorn: JYes, because care and support is the actual main part of our work. On average, one staff member cares for ten families. This implies that she is at the family home once a month. She supports the family during doctor visits or hospital admissions. It's terribly stressful for the parents when the child undergoes surgery for example, eight hours, and they can only wait. Our colleague waits with the parents and helps them mentally as well as she can.

Also during long waiting periods at
the doctor's or in hospital families
get support; © Monkeybusiness
Images/panthermedia.net

REHACARE.de: The children often have complex illnesses which mean a lot of maintenance. What options do the foster parents have to recover from this stress?

Eichhorn: It is important to us that they are always communicating with other foster families. Therefore, we organise regular group meetings where they build networks, swap ideas and give each other tips. This helps many of them to cope with their daily lives better. In addition, there are also different forms of time off.

REHACARE.de: What are these?

Eichhorn: All foster parents are entitled to six free weekends a year. Then, the children are supplied in special recreational facilities. In addition, parents have a right to go on a holiday without their child. Some never use it and always travel with their child. But just the knowledge that it would be possible, relieves many of them.

REHACARE.de: How are all these support services funded at all?

Eichhorn: As a statutory basis, we have the SGB VIII, the helps for the education children and young people, and the SGB XII, the integration assistance for disabled people. The financing of the placement in a foster family is funded through hospital and nursing charges, which are imputed as measures referred to SGB VIII or SGB XII. Whether the child protective services or the social services department is responsible will be decided from case to case. The specific calculation is then individually determined according to the degree of disability or illness and the extent of care.

With humor and life experience
also elderly couples can be good
foster parents; © Monkeybusiness
Images/panthermedia.net

REHACARE.de: Are there cases or families whose story has touched you most?

Eichhorn: We've got a couple who is now at the age of middle and end of 50. This is usually not a typical age for foster parents. But we had a little girl to allocate who only had a life expectancy of two years – according to the doctors. Since the couple decided to give as much love and nest warmth as possible to the girl for her short life. And what shall I say? The little girl is doing so well with her foster parents that she has now become five years old.

REHACARE.de: In which situations do problems occur?

Eichhorn: There are only problems when the load from the outside becomes too great. For example if the situation with the biological family is unclear and they want to have their child back. Of course, such a case goes to court and these proceedings are very stressful for all people involved. We also allocate a lawyer for the families in those cases and we support them as best as we can. Fortunately, such lawsuits are not the norm.

This interview was conducted by Nadine Lormis.
REHACARE.de