Do Not Surrender

This article has been published in the German magazine not, issue 3/2011. For more information: www.not-online.de

An accident caused heaviest head injuries – and the doctors said there would be no survival chance for Mrs. H. from Germany. However, her daughter never gave up the fight for her mother. Today, one and a half years later she again lives in her own home. She can speak again, walk, eat and take part in life. In her report the daughter makes clear – the magic word tells to fight.

01/12/2011

Vehemently the daughter fights on
all fronts for the rehabilitation of
her mother; © not

It was 3.15 o'clock at night, when in October 2009 my mobile phone rang and life changed with a blow! It was a friend of my mother who informed me that my mother had an accident this evening and was seriously injured. Because me and my partner were on vacation in South-East Asia, I believed myself like in a nightmare. During the next hours I called up several times to Germany, however, I could only find out that my mother had suffered extremely dangerous head injuries and became emergency-operated. Immediately we booked the next possible return flight and flew back to Germany the same day.

Grasp the nettle yourself

I will never forget the moment I saw my mother the first time on intensive care unit – in bed with all those tubes and apparatuses! I was deeply shocked and dumbfounded. She looked so helpless and vulnerable. And everything was so unusual. My mother had got a heavy traumatic brain injury. During the emergency operation a consecutive brain swell and contusions were ascertained in the area of the posterior cranial fossa (massive swell of the brain and bruises with blood storages in the brain).

It was very difficult for me to endure that I was not allowed to even touch my mother during the first days and that I also possibly should not speak with her. I felt so alone and helpless. Every day I was confronted with new specialist terms and was supposed to make decisions on life and death but basically had no clue.

With all worries which one already has there also was an amount of organisation at administrative bodies, banks and assurances. Because my mother had an unindebted accident, a lawyer had to be engaged, I had to inform the employer of my mother and several assurances and the health insurance.

No more hope?

The doctors in the hospital were really very nice and understanding. During the first two weeks after the accident the doctors gave us practically no hope for survival chances for my mother. In this time everything ran off with us like in fog. Our daily routine consisted in getting up in the morning, going to the hospital, in eating something at noon scantily, again back to the hospital and in the evening back home. Sleeping was not really possible during this time.

Heaviest head injuries left only
hardly hope for a survival; © not

In the course of the time, we became "experts" in reading the observation monitor and today I know: Without initiative one does not come far! One should not wait until informations are offered, one has to get them on ones own.

The whole medical faculty and also the nursing staff have worked really well and only their skills and knowledge it is to be owed that my mother has survived at all! I am very grateful for it.

Where there's a will there's a way!

All together my mother was given artificial respiration 28 days in the artificial coma. Then she was transferred in the neuro-logical intensive early rehabilitation phase B.

In the Internet I found some information about the ZNS - Hannelore Kohl Foundation. On the homepage I have found out in detail about the clinical picture, therapy possibilities and rehabilitation medical centres. In case of my mother I could have had a so-called Reha and pension adviser of the opposing accident insurance. This should support and consult affected persons and relatives. At that time, unfortunately, this wasn't known to me and also nobody told us about it.

First my mother made rather good and quick progress in the rehabilitation clinic and we were completely off the hinges. I will never forget her saying “yes” the first time in my birthday, when I asked her something or saying my name the first time.

We do not surrender

Unfortunately, in the course of the time I had to find out that not all doctors were that good and engaged. We have been told, rather fast, that one can make nothing more and that my mother was beyond treatment. Still today it sounds to me like yesterday when the senior physician told me, now, finally, I should face up reality and accept that my mother will never be healthy again. She would never again be able to swallow or move independently, learn never again to run and never reach the next rehabilitation phase C. Never again!

Because my mother was not feeling better, unfortunately, she had to go to the neuro-surgical station of an acute care hospital. I wanted to check up the pressure setting of the shunt. Thanks to the doctors, an improvement could be reached within a few days. One could watch her feeling better.

From day to day my mother could speak better again (though only very quiet). She could move her hands a little and above all chew and swallow independently. I cannot say how proud I was on my mother at that time and also am even today. She has not surrendered and this was crowned by success.

The support of the family is very
important for the way back into
independency; © not

Continuing rehabiliation brings quick success

Because my mother was still absolutely helpless and completely dependet on support by others, I had make a step which still causes a bad conscience until day. At the age of only 58 years, I had to give my mother into a nursing home. Unfortunately, in Germany there are almost no nursing homes which are specified on young inhabitants. However, I was lucky and have found a nice, new home.

Within less weeks, my mother made so rapid progress that I have applied for a new rehabilitation. This time for phase C. You remember, this is the phase which my mother would never reach according to the senior physician. After endless seeming four months and countless applications and telephone calls I first got a refusal. However, at least I succeeded.

I have investigated on the Internet about special medical centres and again got consultation by Hannelore Kohl Foundation which medical centres are recommendable. The doctors and therapists have accomplished a miracle and have made the impossible possible. In few weeks, my mother learned how to walk, sit down and stand up and many other skills oriented to everyday life.

Back home!

On Christmas 2010 my mother could finally get back to her own flat. Since she is there, she has made very big progress again. She walks at home completely without wheeled walker, is able to make little things to eat again, she bakes cakes with passion and can dress and get undressed. Now she has reached the next rehabilitation phase (phase D).

At last I would like to pronounce a big praise to my mother. During the last one and a half years, she suffered a lot. However, she has never lost her sense of humor and her good mood – and above all she has never given up herself. You always have to believe in yourself!